I Get Knocked Down, but I Get Up Again

*Written on 4/16/2012*

This title of the blog is the name of a song, and I’m sure you guys have heard of it. And oh yes, I have been knocked down flat o the floor. It’s been a while since I posted any blogs. I had been sick for a while, and later I got into some depression.

My professors, friends, and classmates have told me the same thing: Think about happy things when you’re sad.

“It’s easier said then done,” I replied, knowing I’m not the only one feeling this way. At the same time, I know that I’m not the only person feeling sad. Whatever I have to deal with, somebody must have dealt with it before.

Are we meeting somewhere else for class today? Why didn’t anyone tell me? When is this project due? How do I write this essay? Can I retake my quiz because I studied for the wrong chapter?

Sorry, Professor, I didn’t mean to be late. My classmate told me a wrong meeting location.

Why isn’t my boyfriend here when I need him? Screw it, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found someone else. Hang on, why do people still use to analogy to encourage me to look out from more fishes in the water after I already got food poisoning and diarrhea from eating a few of them?

Is it the end of the month already? Great, I don’t know if I can afford my rent.

Man, why can’t I register for this class before it gets filled? Just these two classes, I just need to take these two, but why are they conflicting each other with their time schedule?

Wait, isn’t the car insurance due in two months? Oh, hang on, I just gt $680 dollars taken out of my account by the USCIS for naturalization, I might not have money for car after my cellphone bill.

Oh gosh, I’m hungry, my fridge is empty. Oh, I ate, great, what am I going to put together my next meal?

Why is my mom so annoying? Why is my sister so mean?

I can’t find my wallet! Where are my keys? Why haven’t they called me yet? Please don’t tell me that my cellphone dying again. Is that pile of clothes clean or dirty? My nails broke. No, my zippers broke.  My computer crashed again. Shoot, I just dropped my phone from 1 foot high and it cracked.

It’s just a mild cold. I’ll be okay. Doctors? No, I don’t have health insurance. A simple cough turns in to congestion, turns into flu, turns into fever, and turns into digestion problems. Sweet Jesus, did I just wake up after three days of continuous sleep?

Yes, guys, everyone has been through everything I described above. I have too, repeating over and over again.

“What was the point of this relationship?” still echoing in my ears even till today. I saw a great point in this relationship simply because I love him; nevertheless, it takes two to tangle. Robert has officially left me and moved on.

A letter dropped in my mail box this morning, I received a deductive message about the denial of a scholarship. After the trip to NYC and Kentucky, I am running short on money.

Slowly, I’m picking myself from the ground, but I haven’t gotten my back straighten up completely yet. Anyways, whether if it was relationship, mistakes in speech/language/ performance, denial of scholarship/ jobs, overwhelming work/ school, or just anything along the lines of failing to meet my personal goal, sun still rise tomorrow.

Guys, I know I am the last person you would call for help with stress management and emotion control. I can’t be leashed sometimes with what I want to say or how I feel. But I do have one advise for you, who are just as upset, just as worked up, just as knocked down as I am. When you’re down, the only way you can go is up.

Also, I might sound a little contradicting……you can keep going down, but there is no end to down. Let me specify, you can feel down, but you can’t keep staying down because there are too many things to feel down about. There could be endless of things that would go wrong.

It’s okay to feel down; it’s okay to make mistakes, but don’t let today’s grief to become tomorrow’s shadow. Sun still comes up, the morning traffic is still there, people are walking around, and your dog probably would still slobber you to make you to take him to pee.

Your neighbor down the street, your cousin with the jerseys, your pets, parents in their retirements, and the greasy gas station clerk will still be the same. The world doesn’t change, doesn’t matter if you cry, shout, resent. The only thing you have control is yourself. The world is not just about you, but you are what create your world.

If you want your world to be colorful, cover yourself with color. If you want your world to be gray, cover yourself with shadows. If you want things to look positive, then think positive.

 

 


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